All of these are valid, including and especially the last,
because of its bizarreness. If a bizarre answer is given to a sane
question, the asker will inevitably stop to wonder what the hell the
answer means. This is where you make your getaway. Another principle
of avoidance comes into play here: Never stop moving. If you stop,
people will try and tell you bad things, or get you to do work.
Interestingly, although it is actually impossible to do any kind of
school work whilst walking around the school, if you keep moving in a
purposeful manner, with a folder in your hands, preferably looking
angry or anxious, people will ignore you, and assume that you are
doing some manner of work.
If the unthinkable happens, and someone stops you and is about to
tell you to do something, a pre-emptive strike is the only option:
either ask them a question, preferably difficult, hopefully
impossible, or, say "Ah, << Insert their name here>> I've
been looking for you." This gives you precedence. Now, give them the
folder ( which, it should be noted, is a decoy, being both disposable
and having none of your handwriting on it ) and say that you found it
on a desk in such and such a room, and that someone said that it was
theirs. This someone is the blame factor. It is ultimately this
imaginary someone's fault if the plan goes wrong, and as such, there
is no-one in the plan who is actually able to receive blame.
This ignorance factor is important in avoidance. If you frequently
get given things to do, that you don't want to do, in the bulletin,
then turn up a bit later than normal for registration, and don't read
the bulletin. That way, when you are asked why you didn't go to
practice X, Y or Z, you can say, with absolute truth, that your
teacher didn't read you the bulletin that morning. The fact that they
read it to the rest of the class is neither here nor there.
Advanced techniques: WARNING! This is an example of advanced
Avoidance techniques, and should not really be attempted without
significant amounts of practice in keeping a straight face. If you
know a teacher is looking for you, try and find them. Ask lots of
teachers if they know where your quarry is, and make it seem VERY
important, to add validity to your tale. This keeps you moving from
place to place (Remember, never stop moving), which actually reduces
the chance of finding the teacher. If you don't find them, you will
probably meet in your next lesson with them. Say that you were
looking for them, but didn't find them. Hopefully, those teachers you
spoke to whilst attempting to locate them will, if you make it seem
important enough to them (being out of breath helps), have told your
teacher that you were looking for them. This will inevitably make
them believe you, and they will think that you weren't trying to
avoid them.
But they may find you. This is the really dangerous bit, kind of like
Russain Roulette. Let them ask whatever question they inevitably want
to ask you, and in response, say the absolute opposite of the truth,
but take out every other word of the sentence, and say what you are
left with in an authoritative way. It will make no sense, and will
dazzle and confuse the teacher. They will get into an arguement with
you as they become convinced that they are deaf or that you are
trying to piss them off. They will (hopefully) storm off in a rage of
disbelief at your stupidity, but will (maybe) have forgotten about
what it was they wanted to ask you.
This is very risky to try, so only use it as a last resort. I mean
it. And don't blame me if you get into shit doing any of this,
because you've got to be pretty damn stupid to try.
