The Fantabulous Mr. Forse
Welcome to this week's featured staff member, the inimitable, Mr. Forse. I have randomly pulled his name out of the sack, and he is to be featured. (Hence the term "this week's featured staff member") Mr. Forse is in charge of the sixth form, and in his term of office as the head of sixth form,, there have been many sweeping changes, most notably the new sixth form centre, which, many people fail to realize, is where Mr. Forse actually lives. Of course these changes are not surprising from a man whose name, 'Mr. Forse', is an anagram of the word 'reforms'. (Yes it is.)
In fact this anagrams lark reveals a great deal about our Mr. Forse. When the sixth form centre was first built, Mr. Forse was accused as having simply stripped the trim off his ludicrously expensive garden shed and used it to create a whole new building. This accusation can clearly be debunked by showing that 'Head of Sixth Form' is an anagram of 'Trim off shed hoax'. (Yes it is.) In fact the most telling is the time when Mr. Forse had to fax home to ask his wife to bring into school some of the fertilizer he had been saving for his own garden. This could have been predicted by the fact that the archaic term 'Mr. Forse, head of Sixth forme' is an anagram of 'Mr. Forse faxed home for shit'.
Enough of this though. Anyone can get a program from the Internet
which works out anagrams for them, it requires no great strain. True
satire though is harder to come by. So in light of this fact, I am
showhosting the homepage of an American cult dedicated entirely to
the great man: The Chronosophist Church of
Forse. I chanced upon this site whilst trawling through the
darkest depths of cyberspace wearing only my web hat and my corduroy
HTML breeches. The shock of seeing the Ginger Rusher's face plastered
up on the monitor almost made me fall of my traffic cone, but I
regained my composure and read briefly over the site. I was stunned
by what I saw. Could it be true? Could our Red Headed Leader really
be a descendant of the ALIEN BIG HEADS? Whatever they are. I had to
find out.
I contacted the church in the state of Kentucky, which they have
chosen to make their base, only to find that half of them they are
trapped in a siege with the FBI, under the guidance of their
mysterious Maddona-like leader. This woman known only as the Ham,
believes that she is one of a pair of identical twins descended from
the DIVINE ALIEN BIG HEADS, put on the MIGHTY GLOBE to act as brides
for the MOST DIVINE FORSE. Of course, my mind boggled at this
thought, but I said nothing, rather choosing to start an English
branch of this fascinating cult. Meetings will be held in SF1 every
Tuesday morning, and prayers will be said outside the sixth form
office at lunch.
Suggestions for the next featured staff member will be eagerly received.
