Project Teletubby
I obtained this information using the school network as a forwarding aerial to hack into the BBC mainframe. At the time I was just looking for some kind of scoop on the Forsyth living syrup situation, which I was unable to find. However, as I dug, I found more and more referring to project Teletubby. I thought this was fair enough, it is reasonable after all, since the Beeb have invested so much in the series. The files I found though, seemed to point towards something altogether larger, and maybe even more sinister. I finally found a mirror route through to the MOD, which I had followed, without even realizing it, into their network. There I found something terrifying, darker than your most hellish nightmares. I would advise the more squeamish surfer to turn their board around now, for these disturbing details of the project Teletubby, are what I now recount.

 

Way back in the late Sixties, the world's ten most powerful nations took it upon themselves to create a super warrior, their initial brief being to simply make a new man, immune to terrible effects of nuclear weapons. Silently and diligently they worked, their brief expanding as the developments they made in the field of genetic engineering allowed them to do more. And do more they did. More and more.
It was decided that the creature would have to be able to withstand the cold of the Russian wastelands, and so they gave it a thin fur and thick subcutaneous layers of fat. They endowed it with natural receivers of radio and microwave signals, allowing it to 'hear' incoming transmissions. They gave it powerful ears, able to function as an accurate range finder, to detect sonar activity, and they gave it large eyes to see distant air targets, and to detect the flash of a laser lock-on.
Although perfect for their tasks, the creatures were not born as fighters, they were back up crews working as engineers and support for troops. They were given a mild manner in order to get on well with the troops, and this can clearly be seen in them.
The Stage one TT beings, are now obsolete. In fact, they were rendered such by their successors only a few years after they were initially made. The BBC currently shows a fly-on-the-wall documentary about the last four Stage ones alive. This series was only permitted by the MOD as it believed that no-one would actually believe it to be real. This gamble has paid off for both the MOD and the BBC. However, it is not the end of the story.

Stage Two