Kill all Computer Twats.
You are now using a computer. This is good. You may ask how I know this fact. Good question. Answer: I am psychic. You enjoy using the school computers for a reason that is generally subversive: the school wants us to think it is great, we don't think it is great, we take the piss. This is good. How do I know? Its my idea. You also should feel a part of some kind of a community: we are, after all, all in the same scholastic boat. I view the computers in the school as being vital to both our courses, since they allow us to seek out information from both the web and CD media, and also for the dissemination of (daft) information, because we get to have a laugh. So lets all agree that computers are good. This is the conclusion arrived at by those people who are sane and reasoning.
I see that computers can be used as a tool of subversion: I don't really want to upset anyone, or even really offend them, I just want to poke a bit of fun at the school as a whole, even us, the student body. You probably agree, after all, you are reading my site. There are other people who also think the computers can be used to harm the school, but are both less subtle and less intelligent in their methodology. These people, I will used the term Computer Twats to describe them, think that it is fun to do such things as mess around with mice, take out the mouse balls, screw around with the hardware, and if at all possible, make the computer unusable.
I guess that their reasoning is somewhere along these skewed lines: These computers ultimately belong to me, because my parents pay my fees. I can't have exclusive rights to this computer, so I will stake my claim to it by making it unusable for others. Won't that be a jolly laugh? Everyone will think I am so witty and clever. Here's the reality: When these Computer Twats screw up the computers, it means that they cannot be used. This is the immediate falloff. Of course, this is not really a long term problem, because the computers are fairly easy to fix, so lets make the IT department earn their money. Wrong, the IT department aren't paid to fix the damage done by ignorant little twats, they are paid to educate and enlighten people in a subject which will become central to most people in the near future. And here comes the long term falloff: The school don't want to see their investment abused, so they quite legitimately, restrict access for everyone, even the good people, i.e. us. This is bad. So what's my point? There are two lessons here, maybe even more.
1. Do not screw around with the computers at school. You may think, oh, I have a computer at home, that doesn't bother me, but this is the attitude of the selfish individual. Not everyone does have a computer at home, and even fewer have reliable web access.
2. Don't just stand by and let people screw around with the computers. If you see something going on, stop it. Don't be afraid to wade in, even if it's people in your year. Tell them you need to use that very computer, and ask how long they're going to be. This should be enough. Make it clear that you have seen what they have doing. These people are scum remember. What they are doing is not funny, and by stopping them, you are in the right. There is nothing they can do to stop you: you have justice on your side. If they don't stop, memorize their faces and at a later, more convenient time, tell a member of staff, Freddy Forse would be a good start, or tell your form teacher. If they threaten you, even better. They'll only get in more trouble.
3. The action of the individual is necessary to safeguard the
larger community. If all of you are vigilant, then all of these
morons will have to stop. We are a force of unstoppable good, an army
of purity set to sweep across the dark ravaged cyber-landscape and
sweep the fools before us. Act now of be forever lost!
(Although this sounds sarcastic, I am very serious. This is a real
problem that could actually affect us all, quite badly, to my eyes
its even worse than the replicant problem. So do keep your eyes open,
and don't sit idly by while people screw you over.)
